Mort Motherfuckers

I don't mean to blow my own big-ass horn, which the Vikings used to use to summon their chariots, but I called this shit. After the Falcons' game Sunday, I discussed with my friend the jackassery of the field goal unit. Koenen is a fine punter, and handles kickoffs well. Field goals are a whole nother matter. I explained to said friend that there must be dozens of elderly kickers sitting at home, waiting by the phone. Clearly, Morten is the best choice, both because he has already shown himself to be solid in old age, and because he is a former fan favorite for the home team. Gary Anderson, and many others however, must be in similar situations. If your kicker sucks, don't go through the growing pains of making him good, just sign a cheap veteran. Driving kids to soccer practice for a few years is probably good for the hamstrings anyways.


What is the Danish word for "kickass"?

Crazier Than a Bag of Dust

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There is a player on the Bulldogs named Andrew "Gully"

Sweet.

Everything did not go according to plan, man.

All my underhanded shenanigans went for naught. The fighting Starkville Maroondogs (word to Brad Farmer) could not come away with a victory. In retrospect, I suppose I should have known that the Carolina players I bribed were going turncoat on me when they knocked that poor heavyset Caucasian fellow out of the game with a broken collarbone. Alas, the Georgia boys will have to do the deed themselves next weekend. In the meantime, I have some welshers to work over.


A reenactment of me taking my money out of Blake Mitchell's hide. Blake Mitchell apparently played by a pre-tragedy Doctor Otto Octavius. Myself possibly played by Namor the Submariner.

Beluga/Man Hybrid Makes Fairly Good Football Coach

Scrolling bottom line thing on espn has informed me that Mark Mangino has gotten a 5 year extension at Kansas. Is anyone willing to say that they think he will live long enough to see the end of this contract?


The food is not love Mark. Only love is love.