Are you somebody important or something?

In unrelated news, P Diddy has apparently accused Jadakiss and The Lox of having holes in their zapatos.

Damn dough cartels

I have a friend here in Columbia who is a big Gamecocks fan. He actually used to play for Carolina, but I do my best not to hold that against him. Thursday, however, I get this call on my cell phone from said friend.

Me: Hello?
Buddy o' Mine: What up Holmes?
Me: Nothing man, working.
Buddy o' Mine: Can you come light my pilot light for me?
Me: What?
Buddy o' Mine: Can you light my pilot light?
Me: What, like on your stove?
Buddy o' Mine: Nah man, on my hot water heater. My gout has fucked up my foot and I got strep throat. I can't get to it. (Ed. note: He has the gout. I do not know how a man in his twenties gets the gout, but these are the facts.)
Me: Yeah I guess. It's gonna be a hot minute, I'm in Newberry.
Buddy o' Mine: Allright man, gotta go. See ya when I see ya.

So I drive to his house and light his damned hell water heater in suit pants and a tie and what not, kneeling on a trash bag. Being a Gamecock is apparently a forgiveable offense. This, however, was some bullshit. Damn, Steve.

Here We Go...