Saturday, April 08, 2006
The Augusta National is overated
To all those who have never been to The Masters, it ain't that cool. I go most years because I have family that works there. Here is the truth: the pimento cheese sandwiches are just that, pimento fucking cheese sandwiches. Nothing more, nothing less. If you go after it rains, the course will smell like rotting dog shit, and you will bust your hairy ass in mud. You also will probably throw your shoes away when you get home. The beer is scientifically proven to turn hot the instant you pick it up. But by all means, make the trip this year. And be sure to enjoy your sixty dollar umbrella.
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I get almost apoplectic with the beauty of the golf course, but you're absolutely right: the pine needles smell like shit after a good rain. And no one ever tells you how humid Augusta can be in April.The best time to be there, as far as I could tell, was at dusk when everybody was gone. For me, it's the Par 3 tourney and watching the rest on TV.
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